Who Is the Modern Outdoorsman? A Hook & Barrel Roast

This Hook & Barrel roast takes one last swing at the magazine, the modern outdoorsman and the glossy chaos that somehow holds it all together.

Now that Hook & Barrel has spent the better part of 70 pages trying to figure out “Who is the modern outdoorsman?” you’re absolutely clear, right? No doubt at all. But just in case you’re still unsure, we’ll make a last-ditch effort to answer that question in this Hook & Barrel roast by checking out the official Lifestyle Magazine for the Modern Outdoorsman to see if it offers any hints.

The Modern Outdoorsman, According to Hook & Barrel

First is a letter from the magazine’s owner and CEO John J. Radzwilla, sharing some sage wisdom he gained after being declared legally dead during a HYROX race, then cranking out 16 more burpees. It’s inspiring, but more work than anyone should put into eating an off-brand Oreo.

Hook & Barrel Newsletters

Speaking of food, we move on to “Good Grub,” where an award-winning chef or Instagram influencer, depending on that month’s editorial budget, gives tips on how to make artisanal rhinoceros jerky or Mama’s Venison Meatloaf. The recipes might seem a little unorthodox, but do you see Field & Stream teaching you how to make venison energy drink? That’s why we’re for the “modern” outdoorsman.

Next is the cover feature, a riveting piece of hard journalism where you gain fascinating insight like, “Country singers love to go fishing.” Later in the story, our minds are blown when we learn he also likes dogs and is working on a 14-track diss album about vegans called “Eat THIS, Peter Dinklage!”

a caricature of an older lady holding up a bass, roasting Hook & Barrel's take on the modern outdoorsman — *If it'll get us a 30-second segment on "Gutfeld!", we’ll devote four glossy pages to the old Cuban lady who brings everyone coffee. Who knew she was really into bass fishing?*

The modern outdoorsman is also often an entrepreneur, so every issue features an interview with a CEO dressed like Sgt. Slaughter, standing in a field whilst swearing the secret to success is sleeping 45 minutes a week. In case you’re wondering how to do it, H&B also features a column from a Navy SEAL, who explains how elk hunting helped him assassinate the Prime Minister of Kazakhstan. Of course, there’s always great Jocko Willink coverage to consume.

Celebrity Profiles, Tactical Bras and Other Essentials for this Hook & Barrel Roast

You are also guaranteed to read at least one profile of someone who works at Fox News, ya know, like Emily Compagno. Not an anchor, just anyone with an operative security badge. Apparently if the magazine can get a 30-second segment on Gutfeld!, it’ll devote four glossy pages to the old Cuban lady who brings everyone coffee. Who knew she was really into bass fishing?

Each issue is also required to have at least three mentions of Michael Waddell, which will cause him to magically appear and help call turkeys. It’s seamless when a celebrity can just drop his name in a hunting anecdote. Not so easy when the magazine’s running out of space and has to work him into a story about tactical sports bras.

No Hook & Barrel roast would be complete without a look at the “Trophy Room.” The “trophy” in question isn’t a stuffed deer head, but rather a bodacious blonde real-estate agent from Tulsa who owns enough automatic weapons to overthrow a Central American government. This name would get most magazines not sold in a black plastic sleeve canceled, but there are perks to having an audience whose entire wardrobe comes from Cabela’s.

The Last Laugh Is on Us

Then, of course, we get to the lowlight of the magazine, the “Last Laugh,” where a Dave Barry wannabe who went dove hunting, like, twice in the ’90s, makes jokes at the modern outdoorsman’s expense. And what does that teach us? The modern outdoorsman has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh at himself, as long as it gets at least 100 hearts on TikTok.

Check out these classic Last Laugh columns from the pages of Hook & Barrel: